December 23, 2006
Frohliche Weihnachten!
Just like the kids of Mars, I'm off to celebrate Xmas, so see you all around, and have a very merry Christmas.
If you don't celebrate Christmas....then I hate you.
Cheers!
December 22, 2006
Merry Xmas, Infidels!
Joy to the freakin' world.
Indonesia - Deal drugs and we'll kill you, but be complicit in mass murder? Light touch man, light touch.
Don't you worry, just like OJ, I'm sure Bashir will be looking for the real guilty party. Call it a hunch, but I betcha old Bugs Bunny is going to start looking here.
December 21, 2006
God's Tip
Hark ye onto the tale of the foreskin of Jesus!
That last line is just wrong....
Here's more on that fabulous piece of skin.
Interestingly enough, before 150 AD, circumcision for Jews was done differently - everyone now's apparently doing it wrong!
December 19, 2006
Those Wacky Thetans
Please tell me this is a joke.
VICTORIA Beckham is reportedly set to star in Tom Cruise's new Scientology film.
The ex-Spice Girl has apparently been lined up to play an alien bride in The Thetan - based on the religion, which believes in alien life forms.
Victoria is said to be "thrilled" about getting her big Hollywood break.
Words fail....
December 17, 2006
Not a pie, but close.
What do you expect after starring in a movie nicknamed "Pie Fucker"?
Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of "American Pie" accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court today.
December 15, 2006
Monkey in search of an organ grinder
On the subject of the ridiculous conference of anti-semites and holocaust deniers gathered together in Tehran, it is truly incredible that a people that thousands of years ago produced the aptly named Cyrus the Great now produce "leaders" on the level of the trogolydyte currently dancing to the Ayatollah's strings.
Oliver Kamm puts it best in this post.
What is wrong with the Iranian conference is thus not that it's offensive, but that it's a fraudulent gathering designed to generate hatred through lies. It's an offence not against our feelings but against truth and against history. The problem with the puppet-President of Iran is not only (or at all) that he is ill-mannered: it is that he's a bigot, a racist and a messianic crank. The proper task for Western diplomacy is to say so.
December 14, 2006
The Ultimate Power in the Universe....now with Sauna!
Now you too can have your very own Death Star, designed to your specifications.
Mine had freaking huge guns and a ferris wheel.
....You heard me.
December 12, 2006
The Best Bits of the Bible
Ten Bible Verses never Preached On.
This book really needed an editor.
Gotta love the bit about the chick with the fetish for men with huge members and copious ejaculate.
Mmmm....holy.
December 11, 2006
Jesus?
A BOARD member at the Melbourne Islamic school which recently expelled students for desecrating the Bible has been bashed by a man calling himself "Jesus".
May have been this guy. He seemed crazy enough.
December 10, 2006
Ho ho....HEY!
Parents have been warned to check their children's Christmas presents after it was revealed hundreds of hardcore pornographic images had been hidden in books, clothes and toys at some of Melbourne's major shopping centres.
Someone's been naughty, that's for sure.
December 06, 2006
Village Has Filled its quota of idiots
Some people find this woman's appearance and/or behaviour objectionable or offensive to their religion.
Condolences on their recent mental illness.
It's the new game everyone can play
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with this. Just as I didn't see anything wrong with this.
In fact, I think this could be a fun new game, and a great way to treat everyone equally.
Tomorrow night, come over to my place. We're having a few brews, and then urinating all over the Bible, Qu'ran, Book of Mormon, Veda, Talmud, Kojiki the Avesta and the Holy Books of Thelema.
Then, if we have time, we're going to take a massive dump on Dianetics.
Not that it isn't already full of shit as it is...
December 04, 2006
We've come to a fork in the road.
Now, back to work and stop mixing those metaphors.
December 01, 2006
Poison Dwarf vs. Dickhead
For those who missed it, here's a drunken Glen Milne attacking Stephen Mayne.
Prince Albert in a Can
...This sorta Prince Albert, though.
German sex educators plan to launch a spray-on condom tailor-made for all sizes.
Jan Vinzenz Krause from the Institute for Condom Consultancy, a Singen-based practice that offers advice on condom use, said today the product aimed to help people enjoy better and safer sex lives.
"We're trying to develop the perfect condom for men that's suited to every size of penis," he said.
"We're very serious."
Mr Krause's team (spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom.
"It works by spraying on latex from nozzles on all sides," he said.
"We call it the '360 degree procedure' - once round and from top to bottom. It's a bit like a car wash."
Yeah. Exactly like a car wash.
Take Me To Your Leader III
It's on....again!
Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard have announced their intention to contest the Labor leadership vote on Monday saying a new style is needed to win next year's federal election.
Two men enter, only one man leaves!
....
Then, a short time later, the other man leaves, after being declared the winner.
Get the lowdown on the competitors here. Still basically the same.
I'm backing Rudd, if only for the fact that he once received a drunken answering machine message from a tall, red-haired friend of mine.
If memory serves me correctly, it said, "Jesssiiica, I'm loooonging foooor you."
True Story.
More on Pixie vs. Bomber from Tim Blair.