July 31, 2006
The End of the Cedar Revolution
I was going to write something clever on the events in Lebanon, but lost interest. Many words, both online and on newsprint, have already been expended on the topic, and little of it seems to have helped people's understanding of the situation.
We hear a lot of "proportionality", and criticisms of Israel for this and that, but, the fact of the matter is, Hezbollah is a known terrorist organisation, and Lebanon, the Middle East and, yes, the world, would be far better off without it.
Whether Israel will succeed in destroying it is another matter altogether.
It is true that the Lebanese as a whole do not deserve this. The deaths of innocents is always regrettable, and the death of children is even more tragic, but the culpability for such things rests with Hezbollah. It is that group's tactics of using civilians, suburbia and UN positions as cover as it fires rockets at Haifa, Nazareth and other Israeli towns that is killing the Lebanese.
It is one thing to decry war, and the loss of life involved. It is quite another to support a group that is a proxy of a regime with fascist, imperialist aims. Make no mistake, Hezbollah's true motives are not to do with the "liberation" of Lebanon - indeed, it sided with Syria during the Cedar Revolution. It cares little for the plight of the Palestinians - indeed, that is just a fig-leaf.
It is purely a vehicle for the Iranian regime to recognise its long held goals - domination of the Middle East.
To support Hezbollah means one of two things - Ignorance on their true nature; Or a deep abiding dislike of Jews, coupled with a taste for religious fascism. If the former, you may be genuinely mistaken or a moral imbecile. If the latter, you aren't "anti-war" - you're pro-war - you just happen to be on the other side.
(Cartoon courtesy of Indymediawatch - who has many great posts on the conflict, and Indymedia's response to it. )
July 21, 2006
Old Fashioned Popery
Ah, those Catholic schoolgirls!
A sex scandal has erupted at a Queensland Catholic school implicating female students as young as 12.
The school, which cannot be identified for legal reasons, has been rocked by claims that female students were pinned down and "turkey slapped" - hit with an exposed penis - and female students had sex with their male peers for successfully performing dares.
Girls certainly weren't offering that for dares in my day. It was usually
Do that... I dare you!
What do I get for doing it?
Nothing!
Wow! You got a deal!
July 20, 2006
Aaron Millard is quite jealous
Your results:
You are Spider-Man
| You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
July 18, 2006
The poll is shite, and the BBC can't read. Not an either/or situation
Further to this post, see these great posts from Daily Ablution.
July 15, 2006
Weekend reading
Daily Ablution is back and on a roll, digging into the UK Foreign Office's spinelessness with regards to radical Islamist groups.
Meanwhile, back home....
The nation's Islamic leader, Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali, has dismissed the Holocaust as a "Zionist lie" in a series of fiery sermons in which he also lashed out at the West and the US-led occupation of Iraq.
Charming man.
July 12, 2006
Not much "thinking" in this tank
SMH gleefully publishes a list of "happiest" nations from a "think-tank".
(I'm loving these scare quotes)
The tiny South Pacific Ocean archipelago of Vanuatu is the happiest country on Earth, according to a study measuring people's wellbeing and their impact on the environment.
Keep in mind that the majority of the island's inhabitants sustain themselves through subsistence farming, an activity not generally done for the "happiness" it brings.
Colombia, Costa Rica, Dominica and Panama complete the top five in the Happy Planet Index, compiled by the British think-tank New Economics Foundation (NEF).
Australia is ranked 139th out of the 178 countries surveyed.
Oh, it's a barrel of laughs in those South American basket cases, I'm sure. What could have led to such an absurd ranking?
The index combines life satisfaction, life expectancy and environmental footprint - the amount of land required to sustain the population and absorb its energy consumption.
What your "environmental footprint" has to do with your "happiness" is unclear, but likely it's something to do with the trendy green-left idea that progress (read, electricity, running water, technology, education, wealth), is bad.
Gotta love those ideologically driven "studies".
Here's some more on notoriously happy Colombia:
A Colombian human rights group, the Permanent Committee for the Defence of Human Rights (CPDH), has just released its annual report on the state of violence in Colombia.
It makes chilling reading, showing even worse figures than last year when Colombia was rated one of the most dangerous nations on Earth.
The murder figures are higher than many countries in the midst of a full-scale war.
FEEL TEH HAPPYNESS!!!11
Never Really Worked for Me
Apparently this is the best pick-up line ever.
Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Pfeh! Zapp Brannigan could do better!
July 10, 2006
The Head Butt Heard Round the World
Brain snap? Racial slur? Damian Penny speculates on what caused Zizou's spectacular meltdown in the World Cup final.
As for me, I'm content to put it down to him being French.
And you thought the Internet was just for finding pictures of Tubgirl
You can use the Web for all sorts of things!
Muslim extremists in Sydney are using the internet to gather support for making Australia an Islamic state.
The chatrooms reveal a ground swell of support for notorious terrorists such as Abu Musab al-Zarqawi among some young Muslims living in the suburbs
If you've forgotten who Zarqawi was, here's a picture of his bloated, fetid corpse to remind you.
"I reckon we stay and try our best to get to high positions in this country so it comes to the fold of Islam," a member calling himself God's Slave 4 Life wrote.
And I reckon, like a good slave, you should put on the fucking gimp suit and bend over.
Jees...I'd never thought I'd see someone happy about being a slave.....Weirdo!
Another member called Wasalam also suggested imposing the Muslim way of life on Australian society from the inside and called on members to pray for Muslims waging war overseas.
"We have to be sure firstly that Allah is pleased with us and that we're completing our task and that we're not only stressing about what's happening but that we are also doing something about it," Wasalam wrote. "May Allah help us and bring victory to the Muslimeen and Mujahideen in every land."
Uh...you mean the ones who chiefly seem to be slaughtering their fellow Muslims in places like Iraq and Afghanistan?
Good call!
Dickhead.
If it talks like a fascist, walks like a fascist, and acts like a fascist, then...
Meanwhile, the girls have other ideas.
But a female member tells her friends that Australian Muslims would be better off moving overseas.
"Don't you think we should unite in one land and from there re-organise ourselves into different territories?" she wrote. "We are investing our gold n' silver in a non-Muslim land and at any moment if the big bosses think we're up to no good, they can freeze everything!"
Gold n' Silver?!?
"Arrr...ye Muslim lass, hand over ye gold n' silver!"
Fuck knows what that bizarre bit of invective even means, but if they're looking for a country that will suit them better, it seems Somalia is heading that way...
Hand in your passports at the door, guys.
July 09, 2006
Yeah, children have never done this
Child protection groups prove they're "on the ball", so to speak:
Child protection groups are calling for schools to take action amid fears young Big Brother fans will copy the show's notorious "turkey slap" incident.
Campaigners are concerned turkey slapping, males rubbing their crotches in females' faces, could become a playground game when school resumes tomorrow.
Do these people really think that the "turkey slap" didn't exist before Big Brother? Gee, way to keep up with youth culture guys. The darn thing's decades old already.
What's next?
"We understand children have acquired these things called "Tazos"...."
July 08, 2006
More to be done
The new Somali leaders are working quickly.
Militiamen loyal to Somali Islamic courts overnight raided a wedding party, beat a woman, and confiscated musical instruments in the capital Mogadishu as they enforced a ban on band music, officials and witnesses said.
Around 20 heavily-armed militiamen stormed a house in Mogadishu's Huriwa neighbourhood, fired shots in the air and confiscated musical instruments from a band entertaining guests at the wedding party, they said.
Organisers said the militiamen said the band was performing "satanic" music contrary to the teachings of the Koran.
Bah! Fools! Everyone knows all the best music is Satanic. It's the Devil's natural rhythm, you know?
I know it, you know it, Paganini damn well knew it.
A pervading myth about Paganini is that he sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for his fearsome technique, a rumor which he delighted in and may have even started himself. During a performance his eyes would roll into the back of his head while playing, revealing the whites. His swaying stance, long unruly hair and thin, gaunt stature would add to this rumor. He played so intensely that women would faint and men would break out weeping.
Sex-ay!
July 07, 2006
Possibly deranged
And I thought I had trolls (well...that angry anti-semite has been a bit quiet of late), but that guy had nothing on this psychotic one picked up by Jeff Goldstein.
Proof against "intelligent design", in any case.
Better red than unread
Comrades! For all your kowtowing-to-authoritarian-regime searching needs!
Off to a good start
The new rulers of Somalia have decided to allow their new subjects to gently adjust to theocratic rule:
Somali Muslims who fail to perform daily prayers will be killed in accordance with Koranic law under an edict issued by a leading cleric.
The requirement for Muslims to pray five times a day under penalty of death appears to confirm the hard-line nature of the increasingly powerful Sharia courts in the Somali capital, Mogadishu.
"He who does not perform prayers will be considered as infidel and Sharia law orders that that person be killed," said Sheikh Abdalla Ali, a founder and high-ranking official in the Supreme Islamic Council of Somalia.
"Sharia law orders the killing of any Muslim person when he fails to perform prayers," he said in an address at the opening of a new Islamic court in Mogadishu's southern Gubta neighbourhood.
Sure sounds like a vote winner, guys.
In other news, the only religious movement even stupider than radical Islam, the Church of England, comes up with the idea to ditch its patron saint, because of perceived offence to...people not in the church.
UPDATE: We have another contender for religious tard of the day!
The Australian Government has sacrificed millions of people on the altar of the market, preferred to help the rich over the poor, and has made human rights negotiable, outgoing Uniting Church president Dean Drayton said in his farewell speech yesterday.
Ahuh.
He also said Australia was "sucking dry" its Pacific and regional neighbours to maintain its own lifestyle.
For "sucking dry" read "providing millions of dollars in aid and support which is then pissed up against a wall."
Sometimes I think Diderot was right, "I should like to see, and this will be the last and most ardent of my desires, I should like to see the last king strangled by the guts of the last priest"
July 05, 2006
The Doctor embraces diversity
Doctor Who's new assistant announced.
Sure, it may be an obvious nod to "diversity", but hey, she's kinda cute, and that's all that matters.
Freema Agyeman, a little-known actress, has secured one of television’s most coveted roles, after being named as Doctor Who’s new time-travelling sidekick.
Agyeman, 27, from North London, will join David Tennant next year, after the Doctor is forced to sacrifice Rose, played by Billie Piper, to save the Earth.
Nice way to slip major spoilers into an innocuous casting announcement, guys!
The BBC, criticised by Greg Dyke for being “hideously white”, has made a commitment to increase opportunities for ethnic minorities through its drama. BBC bosses say that a “diversity deficit” is driving away younger audiences.
Ahahaha.....kids don't give a fuck, mate.....seriously, is this the sort of things old fogeys think young people care about?
Agyeman, who has an Iranian mother and Ghanaian father, will be the first ethnic minority companion in the 43-year television history of Doctor Who — although Sophie Okonedo featured in a 2003 BBC animated spin-off on the internet.
What about that talking penguin? You know, the one that toted heavy machine guns?
....I'm not fucking kidding, either. This companion actually existed.
July 02, 2006
Karma - not just for hippies anymore
Fan "jess" pops in to write:
WHOEVER WROTE THIS WAS A FUCKING WANKER. AND GUESS WHAT AUSTRALIA IS OUT OF THE WORLD CUP. SO AUSSIES WHO ATE ALL THE GOALS?
Ate all the...what? Hmmm... I guess that joke makes sense in Brazil, love.
WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO WRITE THIS ARTICLE? WHO THE HELL GAVE THIS MAN CREDENTIALS TO WRITE?
Yes, it was necessary.
This too, is also necessary.
Dry those tears, princess.