March 26, 2006
Bigger than Jesus
Jesus of Nazareth
Peter Beattie
I can't tell the difference, so how can you?
March 25, 2006
Irony Watch
I'd swear some of the quotes from this BBC report were coming from the Onion, rather than an actual news item on the Afghan man who converted to Christianity from Islam.
"The Prophet Muhammad has said several times that those who convert from Islam should be killed if they refuse to come back," says Ansarullah Mawlafizada, the trial judge.
Did he? How nice of him...
"Islam is a religion of peace, tolerance, kindness and integrity. That is why we have told him if he regrets what he did, then we will forgive him," he told the BBC News website.
Oh, I get it! Tolerance = Apologise or Die!
My dictionary must be faulty.
"We will not let anyone interfere with our religious practices," declared cleric Inayatullah at Kabul's Pulakasthy mosque, one of the city's largest.
Sure, sounds reasonable.
"What Rahman has done is wrong and he must be punished."
Whoah! Whoah! What happened to "not letting anyone interfere with our religious practices"...Inayatullah? Anybody?
"What is wrong with Islam that he should want to convert?" asks an agitated Abdul Zahid Payman.
Oh, I dunno, but I have a feeling you're about to tell me....
"The courts should punish him and he should be put to death."
Bingo! Converting to a religion where the god doesn't want to kill you? Crazy talk!
Guys, you really make it too easy for me...
Islam....rapidly becoming the Hotel California of religions.
"You can check-out any time you like...But you can never leave!"
(More from Damian Penny)
Not so simple, after all
The Daily Ablution looks at a facet of the Shabina Begum case that seems to have been mostly ignored: The connection to radical group Hizb ut-Tahrir.
Check this post and this post in particular.
I'd question how much "free will" is actually involved in this issue...
March 21, 2006
Not quite as lethal as T-Rex
Humans spur worst extinctions since dinosaurs
Are you going to let those prehistoric lizards beat you?
C'mon! Primate pride!
Suicide-Bomber
This man must be stopped at all costs.
Beazley announces plan to block Internet porn
The Federal Opposition has outlined a plan to block Internet pornography reaching home computers.
The ALP must like those opposition benches...
(more at the Spin Starts Here)
Brain Wanted
Who's dumber?
It's hard to say.
(via Tim Blair)
March 18, 2006
Religious Beliefs Hatefully Mocked
Actor Tom Cruise threatened to boycott promotion of his upcoming Paramount Pictures film unless a sister cable TV network pulled a South Park rerun lampooning the Church of Scientology, industry sources said yesterday.
Representatives for Paramount and Cruise, a prominent Scientologist, denied he made any such threats or had anything to do with the Comedy Central network canceling plans to air a repeat of the "South Park" episode titled 'Trapped in the Closet', on Wednesday.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of the crudely animated cartoon hit, issued a quirky statement, filled with references to Scientology and the science-fiction writings of church founder L. Ron Hubbard, suggesting Scientology was behind the scheduling change.
"So, Scientology, you have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun," the pair wrote.
"(This) will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"
Nice.
(from here)
UPDATE: Check out the first result for a google image search of "Xenu".
Now that's just cruel!
March 17, 2006
Celebrate centuries of good ol' Irish Catholic Bigotry
The leprechaun next to my ear keeps telling me to honour my 60% Irish heritage and drink until I pass out.
I'd better do what he says.
March 16, 2006
March 15, 2006
Ahahah....the Hell?
It's The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny !
W00t!
Dead Ringer
Apparently, occurding to this, I look like:
Jerry Garcia - 62%
Matt Dillon - 58%
Lech Walesa - 57%
David Hasselhoff - 55%
Charles Dickens - 55%
Peter Gabriel - 52%
Rutger Hauer - 50%
Looks like it's suicide for me...
March 14, 2006
People are fucked, Part CXII
Oh, shit
In 2003, Nawaf Obaid, a Saudi national security consultant, surveyed 15,000 Saudis. Nearly 50 percent supported Osama bin Laden. Last July the Pew Research Center found that 51 percent of its sample of Pakistanis place confidence in Osama, and 60 percent of Jordanians support him. Is 60 percent a tiny minority?
The Pew Center also found that in Lebanon, support for suicide bombing in defense of Islam is 39 percent of its sample, and in Jordan it's 57 percent. Is 57 percent a tiny minority?
In October 2003, the Palestinian Center for Policy and Survey Research in Ramallah found that 75 percent of Palestinians in its sample supported the bombing of the Maxim restaurant in Haifa that killed 23 people, mostly Jews. Is 75 percent a tiny minority?
The London Telegraph reported in February that its ICM poll showed 40 percent of British Muslims in its sample favor applying sharia law in predominantly Muslim areas of the country. Is 40 percent a tiny minority?
Jayzus, I am sick of these loonies. Short of walling off the entire Middle East, what's to be done?
I'm thinking a ship of fools situation, perhaps. Perhaps we can produce a "B Ark" and get rid of everyone like this by putting them in a big spaceship and send it off to nowhere in particular?
Or even better, straight into the sun.
Word.
(via House of Wheels.)
Once Again, Superstition beyond criticism
Isaac Hayes, the voice of smooth-talking "Chef" in the blockbuster animated show South Park, has reportedly quit the program saying he can no longer stomach its take on religion.
Oh, goody, here we go. I was right when I predicted the pathetic Western response to the Mo-toon controversy was about to usher in a new age of "sensitivity".
"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," Associated Press reported the 63-year-old soul singer as saying.
Uh....no. That's bullshit. Why is religion beyond criticism?
Particularly Scientology, which is more cult than religion.
Seriously. Why can't people get this simple fact?:
Religions are just ideas.
Ideas can be criticised, mocked, satirised and ridiculed in any manner seen fit.
All that might happen is that (shock horror!) it might cause you to question deeply held beliefs
Noooo!!! Independent free thinking! The horror!!!
As long as you aren't attacking the person themselves, it's a perfectly valid means of freedom of expression.
Keep in mind that Hayes did voice work for many of an episode critical of Christianity.
Saying Every religion is fair game - except mine. is just ridiculous...and hypocritical.
Stone and Parker "feel that it's a bit disingenuous (for Hayes) to cite religious intolerance as a reason for him pulling out of the show" because the series has lampooned religion since the start, dating back to the short film, The Spirit of Christmas, on which the series is based.
At least some people understand the rank stupidity of it all
March 09, 2006
Hermione and her two friends
I should feel guilty watching this but I don't.
Disturbing, especially since I'm sure both the actress and character are below age of consent.
At least I'm not this guy.
Bloody Brits!
Those bloody stupid bloody poms have gone and bloody censored us!
Tourism Australia's controversial "Where the bloody hell are you?" ad campaign has been banned from British television.
The Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre has deemed the slogan too risque for television.
Risque? Didn't the UK Big Brother once let two teenagers have sex there for educational purposes?
Tourism Minister Fran Bailey labelled the ban "comical'', because the identical ad would still appear in cinema, in print and online in the UK.
"How anyone can take offence at a beautiful girl in a bikini on a sunny beach inviting them to visit `down under' is a mystery to me,'' she said.
I await the ad's triumphant showing in Saudi Arabia.
Bloody hell!
Possibly a Spitter
Apparently there's a link between violent extremism and sexual inadequacy.
Does masturbation lead to suicide bombing? One would think not. There is no more direct link to suicide bombing than there is to blindness or schizophrenia. But there may be a connection between sexual inadequacy or frustration and the pull towards violent extremism.
Which may explain this:
Sheik Muhsen Al-’Awaji: Before Islam, the Arabs fought for 40 years to defend the honor of a female camel. This was in the Busous War. A female camel was humiliated, and a 40-year war ensued to defend its honor. So what about the honor of the Prophet?
Interviewer: Are you proud of this?!
I hope it was an especially pretty camel. You know, with the sorta face that launched a thousand ships....
....of the desert?
*Groan*
(via Ace of Spades and Tim Blair)
March 03, 2006
I'm going to burn!
And how!
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Very High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very High |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Low |
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
Dispater looks like such a cool guy, too!
I've also got a good chance at having Mohammed show me his guts - he and his son in law Ali are hanging out on Level 8, according to Dante.
March 02, 2006
You'll go blind.
It's....the Fanwank of the Day!
If you don't know what fanwanking is, then I'm not going to tell you.
....Oh, alright then!
Scary thing? I recognise some of the discussions....
Babe Likes Porn
An Indonesian centrefold model is leading the charge against her homeland's conservative crackdown.
As the push to ban exposing flesh and a host of other changes gains momentum, Tiara Lestari has become an unlikely activist against the changes, which could see Australian tourists forced to cover-up on the beaches.
The 25-year-old is almost unknown in her Indonesian homeland, despite a portfolio of racy international magazine covers for Playboy, Penthouse and FHM under her belt.
Denounced as a "queen of immorality", she is returning home to stage a photo exhibition in Bali next month called "From Sensual to Elegance" in a bid to launch herself back in to South-East Asia's biggest market.
Hail, Your Majesty!
Aaargh! The Cultures.....they are clashing!
Over the last hundred years Australia has steadily grown a culture.
...despite our best efforts.
(rimshot)
*Groan*
Anyhow, said culture clashes with other cultures, apparently (kind of like a lime green top and grey slacks)....causing such delightful events as this.
SHE was raised as a law-abiding Muslim girl in Sydney's multicultural western suburbs. Now a "clash of cultures" has been blamed for an otherwise model citizen making a series of bomb threats to a Sydney shopping centre.
Ferda Uysalsoy, 24, caused the evacuation of a Myer department store and sparked a huge police operation on two occasions.
Yesterday Uysalsoy offered a Sydney court her excuse for the costly prank calls: a forbidden romance with a non-Muslim man – and the strict observance of her religion by her devout Muslim mother – led her to suffer a "psycho social stress" disorder.
Psycho-what?
As the teenage daughter of Turkish immigrants, Uysalsoy was a popular high school prefect, house captain and athletics star.
However, her unblemished life took a seemingly inexplicable turn last October, when she made the telephone bomb threats to the Carlingford Court shopping centre, where she worked as a waitress.
There's a bomb!
Um....Ferda, is that you?
*click*
At first she apparently told the cops it was just a ruse to get out of work...and frankly, with a job like that, I don't blame her.
But then:
Yesterday, during a sentencing hearing at Ryde Local Court, a deeper cause of her crimes was put forward.
Forced to hide her four-year relationship with her non-Muslim boyfriend from her terminally-ill mother, Uysalsoy cracked under pressure.
In a tendered report, psychiatrist Russell White said Uysalsoy's behaviour stemmed from her mother being diagnosed with cancer "coupled with having to conceal from her (mother) her love for her non-Muslim boyfriend".
Dr White said Uysalsoy's mother was "tolerant" of her wearing Western clothes and "mixing and socialising with young Christians" as long as she did not form a relationship with a non-Muslim.
"(Her mother) made it very clear that she would only ever sanction this if (Uysalsoy) had no sexual relationships in her young adult years and married a Muslim man," Dr White wrote.
"Ferda remains living in her mother's house, but has had a long-term, committed relationship to a young local non-Muslim man . . . about which her parents, particularly her mother, could not be told."
Solicitor Jonathon Anton described the cause of his client's crimes as an "unfortunate clash of cultures".
"This young girl has been going out with her boyfriend, Chris, for years, but marriage is probably impossible.
And right on cue, religion comes in to royally fuck up someone else's life again. Leaving aside the pure sexist element (since the rule does not apply to Muslim males), the restriction that Muslim women can only marry Muslims has got to be one of the daftest pieces of religious claptrap ever to climb out of the slimy bog of theism.
Especially since, as opposed to being a thing of great philosophical and mystical significance, it is quite obvious a cynical ploy introduced into the religion to stop its women deserting en-masse. (Which, in all likelihood, given total religious freedom and no family pressure, would probably happen).
In this case, I really wish the poor girl's parents would come to their senses, and place their own daughter's wellbeing and happiness over placating some ancient desert god or by bludgeoning the boyfriend into joining a religion he likely has no time for.... but then....
...I've never been hot for religion. Except in small doses, and only taken responsibly.
Let's not pretend this is the only bit of gimpishness, however. In the realms of "my great magic pixie that lives in the sky is better than your magic pixie", there's some fairly blatant examples of silliness.
Here's a few:
- The Catholic tradition of Transubstantiation. Official dogma is that, just as Jesus said, the bread and wine are his "body and blood". Not in a metaphysical sort of way, mind you, but in an actual, literal way. So yeah, even though it looks, tastes and feels the way, that's ragged pieces of divine flesh and a tankard of holy blood every Catholic quaffs down on Sunday. There's seems to be an awful lot of it, too...
- Mormon Beliefs are just plain wacky. Jesus is the Archangel Gabriel? Jesus is Lucifer's Brother? More gods than there are "particles on a million earths"? God lives with lots of sexy goddesses on a planet near the great star Kolob? If any of those beliefs turn you on, the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints is for you.
- Circumcision. Why, Why, Why would God create humans with specifically shaped genitals, only to then turn around and demand they cut bits of it off. Wouldn't it be a lot simpler to create the penis WITHOUT the foreskin? Or is God just a sadistic fuck? Forget "Original Sin", the best innovation St Paul ever had was to dump this crappy tradition and...
- Totally Arbitary Dietary Laws. Why are people comfortable with a God who decides that, as well as being creator of the universe, also wants to act as a dietician? Why would he allegedly create all the creatures on Earth for mankind's use and then turn around and say, "Oh, that one's unclean. Don't touch it." If you can't eat a pig, what was the point of God creating it? Wait....don't answer that one...
- I'm ok, you're damned for eternity. The idea that everyone except pious members of your religion is damned for eternity. I mean, seriously, no religion has a majority in the world's population, and, out of every religion, roughly half of the adherents aren't up to scratch when taking the requirements into account. So, as an absolute max, of the current world's population, around 1/6 are going to Paradise, the rest of us are going straight to Hell. I wouldn't worry about it, all the interesting people are down there. Plus, if Dante's right, Mohammed himself is wandering around showing his guts to passers-by. Should be good for a laugh.
- Collosal Wastes of time like the Omnipotence paradox. This guy really could have been doing something more worthwhile than worrying about this shit.
- Scientology. Everything about it...I mean, What. The. Fuck. It's not really a religion, sort of more of a bad sci-fi novel acted out by lunatics. Just read this and keep mouthing "The Hell?"
- Anglicanism. It too is not really a religion anymore, more a shambling, lumbering geriatric mass that can't decide whether it's Catholic, Protestant or some cobbled-together collection of leftist political beliefs. If the Catholic Church ever bites the bullet on married priests, then this church loses it's whole purpose of existence.