November 30, 2005
Zionist Bum-Controllers
Straight from Indymedia: Jews Control Your Bowels!.
I hope they're not devout.
I have shat anything Kosher for yonks.
Holy Books, Batman!
Fear not! There's nothing to be concerned about with radical Islamists!
So sayeth Julia Irwin, Australian Parliament's very own apologist for Islamist terrorist groups.
For those of you aren't regular readers of Hansard (and let's face it, who really is), as far as I can see, Irwin's main purpose in parliament is to invoke Godwin's Law any time a member passes a motion expressing sympathy to Israeli victims of terrorism.
Anyhow, she's back in the news today ranting about this apparent "Climate of Fear" Australian Muslims are living in.
(I guess like the guy running the Halal butchery near where I live, who gives me a cheerful wave every Satuday).
Now don't you worry boys and gals, because Julia's got this whole terrorism thing beat. There's no need to worry at all? You know why?
MUSLIM extremists may use the Koran to justify their terror attacks, "but when it comes to good old-fashioned violence, the Judaeo-Christian God is hard to beat".
Stop there you ning! There's no such thing as a "Judaeo-Christian God". The Jewish and Christian ideas of God are as separate as the Islamic and Christian ones. Lumping them together puts us on the wrong fucking step to begin with.
Regardless...
NSW Labor MP Julia Irwin -- considered a serial offender on religious issues by her own party -- ignited a new controversy yesterday as she described devout Christians as "happy clappers" and said the Bible was more bloodthirsty than the Koran.
Attacking what she claims is a culture of fear faced by Muslims living in Australia, Ms Irwin, a Catholic convert, hit out at the violence of the Old Testament.
And that's the extent of her argument.
I kid ye fucking not.
Julia Irwin deep in thought after discovering the Bible has rude bits.
Here's her example:
Quoting from the Old Testament in the Bible, she drew attention to passages from referring to murders, massacres and God ordering Moses to "loot from their houses all their silver and clothing".
"And if that is not enough, the story continues as Moses ... is urged to hack women and children to death, rip unborn babies from their mother's womb and level the cities," she told parliament. "The virgins are taken at God's command for the pleasure of his holy warriors."
Stirring stuff, except....
- It's the same God, you silly woman.
- Moses (Musa) is also a Prophet of Islam.
So, all very interesting. Except all this rooly deep research on Irwin's part pretty much proves nothing.
Anyone with half a brain knows that the Bible (especially the Old Testament) is pretty much wall to wall with rape, incest, murder and God turning his anger against people collecting wood.
And hey, I can find pretty bad stuff in the Koran to. Here's some Catholic convert Irwin will enjoy:
- Christians will be burned in the Fire
- Allah will taunt Christians on the day of their doom, saying: "Where are My partners whom ye imagined?" (Actually, God says this twice. Just so we're all clear about it).
- Men are in charge of women, because Allah made men to be better than women.
So, pretty much both contain a lot of crap interspersed with a few gems. (Kind of like Tom Cruise movies)...
....but here's the thing...something which Irwin comes close to grasping, but as usual, completely and utterly misses the point.
The Bible and Koran are just books. That's all - bound pieces of paper with writing on them.
Books don't kill people. Left alone on shelves they pretty much just sit there.
They don't do anything. Not by themselves.
What does matter is what people do.
I hate to be trite, but here it is:
"Books don't kill people - People kill people."
Odd isn't it? Judaism and Christianity both have holy books filled with some of the most revolting violence but yet we don't see Judaeo-Christian terrorist groups running amok and murdering any person they can get their hands on.
But yet, there is a radical minority of Muslims who do.
It's not the fault of the book - it's just a book.
Can everyone see my point? It's not the Fundamentalism of Islamists that's the problem - it's the acts of terror with which they seek to spread this creed.
If radical Islam was the same as the "happy-clapper" fundamentalist Christians Irwin derides there wouldn't be a problem.
But there is.
And the "Pay not attention to the man behind the curtain!" attitude Irwin and others take towards this matter doesn't help anyone, least of all, Muslims, who mostly abhor this religious totalitarianism as much as anyone else.
So, in summary:
Me: Radical Islamists are a problem.
Irwin: OMIGOD! What about Hillsong!!!111 And the Bible IS ROOLY VIOLENT!!
Me: Ok, you're an idiot.
Fair and Balanced
Joseph H. Koh, Singapore High Commisioner in Australia, has submitted an opinion piece to the Fairfax broadsheets about Singapore's decision to excecute convicted drug smuggler Nguyen Tuong Van.
The SMH uses the title:
"Separating fact from fiction, despite a deep sense of human compassion"
Which is ok, as it sort of at least tries to be even handed and capture the gist of the article.
This is the Age's title for the EXACT same opinion piece:
All fair and above board, I guess...
Oh, and check out the picture:
You just know the Spencer Street Soviet can't do a piece on Singapore without a picture (and a crappy looking collage at that) of former PM Lee Kuan Yew looking angry, current PM Lee Hsien Loong looking dopey and our own drug dealer looking oh sho innocent....
Not surprisingly, Koh isn't impressed by the Age's actions.
Web-tacular
Continuing my somewhat interrupted Who watching, I picked up Web Planet.
Observations:
- It's quite possible William Hartnell was drunk for the filming of this episode.
- This serial is one of the best examples of the craptacular production budget that was classic Doctor Who.
- The plot was a little hard to follow, what with all the dancing gimps in bee outfits.
- Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but Barbara was looking kinda hot...
November 28, 2005
Who cares?
Malaysians torturing ethnic Chinese?
Why old chap, who cares? ...we're all to busy fretting over whether the Prime Minister should attend a cricket match.
Memo to all:
I don't like it anymore than you do, but I think everyone has to accept that Nguyen Tuong Van is a goner.
Speaking of meaningless gestures, this one's about as pointless as village idiot Bob Brown's (and the ACTU's) idea that we "boycott" our closest ally in southeast Asia even though they're only exercising a punishment they even mete out on their own citizens.
Funny, I thought the Greens were all about respecting diversity.
I guess some aspects of "diversity" are better than others, eh, Bob? Who would've thought...
A related article on the current fashion: It's all Howard's fault! and then this one: Singapore "deadly serious" - which contains this quote:
“Singapore is Australia’s Texas”.
Ah, I get it.... We all dress up in cowboy outfits and attend rodeos there?
Drill for oil?
Chase Latina girls?
Create soap operas with ridiculous cliffhangers and retcons?
1001 uses.
This guy is tough...
Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his Iron Crotch, attached himself not once, but twice, to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.
Time for parrot pie.
I would've got away with it too, were it not for that meddlin' parrot...
Yet Another Blog
Long time commentator Engels now has his own blog - http://engels-empire.blogspot.com/
I wouldn't classify his politics as left or right....
...More as "angry".
(He's right about Creationism, though).
November 23, 2005
Travel Advice
Never attempt to state the obvious in India.
Bollywood star Khushboo has been pelted with sandals, tomatoes and rotten eggs and hauled before court for telling Indian men not to expect their brides to be virgins anymore.
Next thing you know, those uppity women will be wanting the vote.
Equal Opportunity Insults
"Helping make the world a better place."
It's...the Racial Slur Database!
November 22, 2005
Allah's a wowser....apparently.
I sure hope these "spokesmen" the Australian Islamic community keeps throwing up are self-appointed, because I'd hate to think they're actually indicative of a broader belief in the community.
They're getting their little panties in a twist over convicted druggo Michelle Leslie and claiming she's only a "pseudo Muslim".
(Is that a bad thing, though?)
Apparently, there's a big stink over the fact she won't be attending mosques, and that on the flight home she was wearing skimpy tops, drinking champagne and reading Vogue.
I can't see anything wrong with that...
...except for reading Vogue.
UNCLEAN!!
I can't help thinking, however, if some Muslims would spend more time wearing skimpy tops, drinking champagne and reading Vogue, we'd all be better off.
Like this fella, to take a random example:
No one's allowed to laugh at my crappy photoshopping skills, by the way.
You're breaking my heart, fat-boy.
Oh, boo hoo!
OVERWEIGHT, jobless people could be forced to go on a diet in order to keep the dole, it was claimed yesterday.
The new "Tennant"
You can catch the first appearance of the 10th Doctor right here.
November 16, 2005
My Lack of Faith Has Paid Off
Just hours after me telling a coworker the Socceroos had "no chance"....
Socceroos qualify for the World Cup.
I really have no idea when it comes to sport.
Maybe I'll just shut my big mouth...
Damn Dirty Ape!
I bet no one subjected this bugger to medical experiments:
The largest ape to walk the earth - a prehistoric primate that weighed up to 540kg and had inch-wide teeth - may have lived alongside early humans, according to scientists.
Fossils from the 3m-tall ape Gigantopithecus blackii, which were found in southern China, have been dated to the same era when humans were thought to have inhabited the area.
Of course, it's not all bad.
It is well known that everything is better with monkeys.
Speaking of which: Kong is King!
Good to see Pete has lost some weight. For a while there, I thought he was going to play the title role himself.
No Backsies, Australia!
Singapore has told Australia its decision to execute 25-year-old Melbourne man Nguyen Tuong Van is final.
I bet he's just glad he didn't try to buy some chewing gum while he was there...
All you need is Love
Ah....the War on Terror is over....
...Victory at Last!
November 13, 2005
Jamie's Slaughterhouse
He's not afraid of getting his hands dirty, that's for sure.
CELEBRITY chef Jamie Oliver is under attack for killing a lamb on screen.
The Naked Chef has been renamed "silencer of the lambs" after slitting the animal's throat while it was conscious.
Graphic scenes aired on British television this week show Oliver grimacing as he pushed a knife through the sheep's neck.
Jamie Oliver relaxes after a hard day of bloodletting.
"It's a beautiful creature but it is tasty and we are the top of the food chain. A chef who has cooked 2000 sheep should kill at least one, otherwise you're a fake," he said.
The images were from Oliver's new series Jamie's Great Escape, set in Italy. He went on to help skin the lamb, cook it and serve it up as a feast.
The TV station which aired the program received dozens of complaints, with many viewers concerned children may have been watching.
The program aired in the key 8.30pm timeslot.
Some animal welfare groups said Oliver should be ashamed of his actions.
Oh, whatever, silly people.
Me, on the other hand, I'm all in favour of killing small animals.
The cuter, the better.
Mmmmm.....lamb.
November 11, 2005
CAT BLOGGING XV
Some people say cat blogging is a sign your blog has jumped the shark.
But mine is so far beyond that stage....
November 09, 2005
Stopped Clock...
She's may be an aging pederast but she still occasionally gets a few things right:
Aboriginal art is mostly bad: Greer.
I mean, seriously, how many dot pictures do we really want?
Better luck next time girls
No way these two lasses deserved such treatment!
Perhaps surprisingly, this was one of the important issues the cultured readership of the main Sydney broadsheet are perusing. Check out the rest:
Now 100% Nut Free
It's all go down here in Oz with raids on suspected Islamist fruitcakes.
Now, there's currently two schools of thought on the issue.
One, held by the Prime Minister, the Opposition Leader, the Coalition, most of the ALP and around 60%-70% of the public, is that thee raids were necessary, and most likely avoided what could have potentially been a very serious situation.
The other, held mainly by the Greens, Democrats and assorted fruitbats in the media (mainly ABC and Fairfax) involves some grand conspiracy by the government to beat up on Muslims so as to draw attention from upcoming Industrial Relations Legislation.
(The fact John Howard managed to get Kim Beazley, most of the ALP, ASIO, the state Premiers and police forces involved in this conspiracy just goes to show the man's awesome charisma, I guess.)
Anyway, who's name should pop up as ringleader, but our old friend Abdul Nacer Benbrika, Mr "No Tolerance except for those who think Osama's tops" himself.
(Who I happened to blog on before.)
Good to see, however, they're still using the same file photo.
You know, the one that makes him look crazy.
Ah, that's it.
Anyway, Muslim groups seem to be divided on the whole thing, some saying Good Job and others thinking this is the time for a bizarre rant how wishing death upon your country's soldiers should not be considered "sedition".
Uh, ok mate. If that's the "Best Party of Allah", I'd hate to see the worst.
Meanwhile, these two events don't exactly inspire confidence in the group's innocence.
(Sure, I dislike Dancing with the Stars as much as the next guy, but beating up the cameraman seemed a bit rough, mate.)
More at Tim Blair's post Gunfight at the Green Valley Mosque
UPDATE: Idiot of the Week, via, where else, but the SMH.
“I have no doubt the raids in Sydney and Melbourne are politically motivated and a disgrace. John Howard has proved time and time again that he will stoop to any means to get what he wants and this is no exception. Of course he is trying to divert attention from the diabolical industrial relations proposals and he will continue to do so. I await the next bombshell from his stockpile of dirty tricks.”
Diana Fitzgerlad, Burleigh Waters Qld.
Put down the bong, Diana.
November 05, 2005
God Loves a Target
| You are an Atheist |
 You prefer to think about what's known and proven. You don't need religion to solve life's problems. Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy. |
November 03, 2005
The Man from UNCLE
Woohoo! I've acquired a niece. (I wonder if her dad will update his blog though...)
Currently tossing up prototypes to model my Uncle-ness on.
Possibilities: