May 30, 2005
Caps lead to Parkas, Parkas lead to Chainsaws...
A BRITISH juvenile delinquent who terrorised his neighbours with a chainsaw was banned today from wearing a cap or hooded sweatshirt for five years.
Yes, you read that correctly, his reign of terror involved a chainsaw, but he has been denied...his cap.
More Biblical Frivolities
The Back of the Bible does the Book of Jonah.
Where were the Japanese back then, eh?
Lazy Piece of....
Yes, I know I've been slack.
Sorry.
May 27, 2005
Go Sly!
He's the man who says what the rest of us are thinking:
"Today's idea of an action hero is Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom? Give me a break," he said.
Amen, brother, Amen.
May 18, 2005
Teenagers don't give a shit
Apparently, the young'uns aren't as carey-sharey as the old farts.
Conservatives: The Revolt Against Liberal Media Bias, Brian C. Anderson, teenagers are more attuned to the bad attitudes of the animated characters created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker than to those of their liberal parents.
They are more likely to ridicule social guidelines for politeness towards women, minorities, the disabled and disadvantaged and less likely to enroll to vote.
New research released yesterday on Australian attitudes across all generations supports the theory that adolescents are not as green as their parents.
Only 41 per cent of 14- to 17-year-olds call themselves environmentalists, compared with 75 per cent of baby boomers in the 60 to 64 age group, who were at the forefront of political activism.
You know who's fault this is, don't you?
The new report blames youth's fading idealism on John Howard's environmental scepticism.
Drawing on a poll of 56,344 people, the Australia Institute's report on this generational divide says "Howard's Children are characterised by apathy and scepticism", despite the focus given to environmental threats by schools and the media.
What a bastard, eh.
Still, I love how "scepticism" is now considered a bad trait.
Ha!
May 17, 2005
The Bible - in Lego form!
It's the Brick Testament!
Here's a sample:
Jesus looks uncannily like Qui-Gon Jinn.
May 14, 2005
Narnia-a-licious
Here's a link to the new trailer for the first Narnia movie.
Looks pretty good, but I don't recall lots of minotaurs in the book...
Hmm, here's an article from House o' Rupert as well.
I noticed this:
Already the Disney studio, which knocked back Lord of the Rings, is talking about turning the much-loved children's series into a seven-film juggernaut.
If they do a "Horse and his Boy" adaptation, do you reckon the Calormenes will stay Arab-ish or will the PC attitude of the entertainment industry morph them into something else (perhaps Neo-Nazis, like the adaption of Sum of all Fears)? If it's true to the book, expect every wanker of the world to complain about "negative stereotypes". (You see, villains are only allowed to be white guys, preferably British, and mostly wealthy).
One bit that won't go into the Last Battle for sure is where Susan is denied entry to heaven because she liked boys and makeup too much.
Hmmm...
(Presumably Lucy grew up as a lesbian, perhaps?)
Update: Is it wrong that I find the Susan character hot? I mean, the actress is fifteen.
Cold shower awaits!
Update 2: And here's Harry Potter 4's trailer. Is it just me, or does Michael Gambon's version of Dumbledore sound drunk?
Wipe them out...all of them
Here's a non-alarmist headline:
Japan to kill Australian whales
May 12, 2005
The category "Stupid Shit" has never been more appropriate...
Jackson shared toilet with chimp
CALIFORNIAN jurors have heard Michael Jackson say one of his pet chimps would use the same toilet he did, had good table manners and helped clean his bedroom.
In a videotaped interview shown at his child sex trial, the "King of Pop" described the joy he felt when he returned to his Neverland Ranch, where he keeps a variety of animals.
"I come home to my deer or my chimps and I can hug them," he said in the interview recorded two years ago.
"They run around, help me clean the room. They help me dust, clean the window," he said, apparently quite seriously.
What the FUCK?!? They help you dust the room? With what, their fucking snouts?
He said his long-time pet chimp, Bubbles, even used the toilet in his bedroom suite.
"Bubbles would go by himself," he said, confirming to the interviewer it was the same toilet he himself used.
Please tell me you at least wiped down the seat. Please!
Jackson indicated Bubbles also knew how to behave at the dinner table. "He'd pick up the spoon and fork."
That's one smart chimp...and one...odd...man.
(via here.)
May 11, 2005
It's like there's a party in your pants, and only you are invited!
Yep, it's National Masturbation Month!
Enjoy!
May 10, 2005
Foiled Again!
Captain Planet is predicting some reverse-Robin-Hood'ing...
AUSTRALIAN Greens senator Bob Brown says the theme of tonight's budget will be taking from the poor and giving to the rich.
Curses! He's got us there guys. That was the plan all along...
...except, except, for the point that cutting welfare is not taking from the poor at all. The money welfare recipents receive comes from...you guessed it...other people.
Shock, horror! If anything, its returning money to the people who earned it in the first place. Nah, we can't do that, can we, Bob?
Look Bob, I know this is difficult, and I know you are really heavily emotionally invested in a redistributive economic model, but at least try to understand this:
The less people on welfare, the better.
Ideally, there should be no one on welfare permanently*. It's there to help you out when you are in the shitty portion of your life, not to be a lifestyle choice.
And that's coming from someone who works in the welfare sector.
* I'll qualify this with a "except for people so physically or mentally disabled that are incapable of doing any productive employment." But that's not a large proportion of the population.
May 07, 2005
Villains unmasked
Remember the Inspector Gadget cartoon, how'd you never see Dr. Claw's face?
Well, prepare to be amazed...
Signs of Evil continue
What the hell was happening around the world in January, I wonder? Here's another one...
Special Pals!
Jacko chose special pals
A WOMAN, whose young son repeatedly shared Michael Jackson's bed, said today that the pop icon would pick "special friends" among the boys who regularly visited his Neverland home.
Believe it or not, she's supposed to be witness for the defence.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave.
(via news.com.au)
Hellooooooo Lebanon...
I take back all the nasty things I've ever said about the Lebanese.
Well, about the women at least. The men are still chavinistic boorish gits.
May 06, 2005
Before and After
Before:
He looks kind suave, huh?
After
Ouch. He aint so pretty now!
Here's another guy to undergo a similar metamorphisis.
Outrageous
The man behind this must be stopped....
Election Fever!
I don't know about the Lib Dem voter, though.
May 05, 2005
Feelin Hungry
A RESTAURATEUR who painted over a dead rat on the floor instead of cleaning it up has been fined $30,000 for gross breaches of the food standards code.
But the Gold Coast eatery remains open for business, despite being previously shut down and fined for similar offences.
Jo's Brasserie in the Oasis shopping centre at Broadbeach, owned by fallen Surfers Paradise property tycoon Theo Morris, was the site of the grisly discovery.
Gold Coast City Council health inspectors who raided Jo's Brasserie last August photographed the rat, covered in thick red paint to match the floor under the main food servery.
Advertisement:
A massive fungus growth crawling with cockroaches was found nearby under the servery, along with heavily rusted stoves and food preparation areas.
Other rodents, both living and dead, were spotted by inspectors and rat faeces was littered across the kitchen.
Yummy.
(From news.com.au)
May 03, 2005
You've come a long way, baby...
Marvel at the history of the Internet.
EXTERMINATE!!!
Here's an awesome Dalek game...ex-te-r-m-in-ate!
May 02, 2005
Talk about your beat-ups...
The media really seems to be in love with the phony "leadership" crisis that it brings up every six months.
Wake me up when it actually happens, guys...
Tastes like Chicken...
SERVED as burgers and marinated in sweet and sour sauce, whale meat has returned to Japanese school lunches 20 years after it went off the menu amid global anti-whaling campaigns.
Officials said today that nearly 85 per cent of public elementary and junior high schools in Wakayama, Japan's western whaling heartland, are serving whale meat lunches.
And, the kids like it, or so their teachers say.
"Children say it is really tasty," said Wakayama education official Tetsuji Sawada.
from Rupert.