January 28, 2005
Gentlemen, start your cocks!
AN American senator hopes to revive cockfighting in the state of Oklahoma by putting tiny boxing gloves on the roosters instead of razors.
Yes, that's right. Little tiny gloves.
To try to revive it, he has proposed that roosters wear little boxing gloves attached to their spurs, as well as lightweight, chicken-sized vests configured with electronic sensors to record hits and help keep score.
I'm getting a very strange image in my head. Will there be tiny spit buckets as well? Poultry trainers with minature towels over their shoulders?
Some people aren't happy:
Janet Halliburton, president of the Oklahoma Coalition Against Cockfighting, which led the drive for the 2002 law, said Senator Shurden was really seeking to loosen the ban.
Careful Jan, with a surname like that, you're just ASKING to be put in a conspiracy theory.
January 26, 2005
Happy 'Straya Day
It's 'Straya Day, so bring out the barbecue and Aussie flags and celebrate the arrival 217 years ago of criminals in Port Jackson.
Even Google is getting into the spirit.
In other news - "Early Settlers Made Australia Desert" - but not the settlers usually blamed. I guess it must be all that "closeness" to the land I always hear.*
* This post was written in a room, in a unit, on a piece of land that may, at some stage have belonged to the Ngunnuwal people. (Can't be too careful in Canberra...the PC Police might be watching...)
Update I: And in a column absolutely sure to give the luvvies in Canberra a heart attack, a former ALP Senator for the ACT says,
Labor's treatment of Julia Gillard shows that it is light years behind the conservative Bush team.
Yowzers! That'll stir up a few cafe' lattes in our nation's capital. That is, if they actually read the Australian anymore. One workmate says, proudly, that he doesn't read "any of that right-wing bullshit that News Ltd produces".
Nah, best just to stick to the nice, comfortable left-wing bullshit of the ABC/SBS/Fairfax Axis of Evil...
Ah well, c'est la vie.
The Bomber is Back
...Gillard has dropped out making Beazley the only contender.
January 24, 2005
I believe in Pixies...
...but no one else does. Rudd has withdrawn, meaning, bar the ALP deciding to compose "the longest suicide note in history" by electing Julia Gillard, Beazley will be Opposition Leader...again.
Then again, looks like no one gives a shit anymore.
Still 34% is a good score for a party with no frickin' leader and even less ideas. I guess this does support the concept of the rusted on voter.
January 22, 2005
Take Me To Your Leader
Who will the new ALP leader be?
Let's look at the contenders.
Beazley, Kim "Bomber" (Brand, WA)
Advantages: Avuncular, Electorally Popular, Stable, Nearly won in 1998
Disadvantages: Two time loser, Will be over 60 by 2007, Long-winded talker, Only one KFC bucket short of a heart attack
...more here.
Gillard, Julia "Goolier" (Lalor, Vic)
Advantages: Feisty up-and-comer, Capable Parliamentary Peformer (Allegedly), Female, Better Looking than the other two candidates
Disadvantages: Untried and untested at a leadership level, Probably too-left-wing for the electorate, Female, Sounds like a cast member of Kath and Kim, Red Haired Pollies usually crash and burn.
...more here.
Rudd, Kevin "Pixie" (Griffith, Qld)
Advantages: Intellectual, Strong Grasp of Foreign Policy, Not a Union Hack, May Signal Generational Change, Good Compromise Candidate
Disadvantages: Intellectual, Preppy, From Queensland, Looks like Martin from the Simpsons, His Daughter once nearly slept with this guy.
...more here.
January 21, 2005
Yeeehah
JibJab became famous for their "This Land" satire on the 2004 Presidential election, which poked fun at both sides fairly evenly.
Now they've done another one.
Check it out.
January 19, 2005
Yum yum
I'm a bit of a spartan eater at the best of times, and usually end up with half of my meal still on my plate.
Maybe I need a girlfriend like this...
(Here's the background to this little bit of food porn.)
Equality, Finally!
Celebrate today, ladies, it's the day you get your very own urinals!
WOMEN, rejoice! One of the last bastions of gender inequality is about to be banished and with it the long, long line for the ladies' loos.
And while it might not be every gal's cup of tea, the organisers of this year's Big Day Out concert in Melbourne reckon the girls-only urinal will get a standing ovation.
The Shee Pee, as its affectionately known in Europe, will make its Australian debut at this year's Melbourne event in a bid to cut loo queues and offer women a more hygienic option to conventional toilets.
January 18, 2005
Harry-ed
Some perspective on the "HARRY THE NAZI!!!!" episode, first from Gerard Henderson:
In the lead-up to the second Gulf War, many demonstrators took part in marches in which the democratically elected leaders of the "coalition of the willing" (led by the United States, Britain and Australia) were depicted as having a fascist or Nazi disposition. For example, demonstrators in Sydney on February 16, 2002, carried a large portrait of John Howard on which was drawn an Adolf Hitler-style moustache.
Now, the young Prince Harry has met the Australian Prime Minister. Who knows? In a historical mode, he may have come to the conclusion that if Hitler was just like Howard, then the founder of national socialism may not have been too bad after all. In which case, what could be wrong with wearing Nazi insignia when out and about with the (equally ignorant) King's Road set?
and then from the ever eloquent Mark Steyn:
The French sports minister suggested the "scandal" would undermine Britain's bid to host the Olympics. Londoners should be so lucky.
But, if I understand the concern of the sporting world correctly, being a totalitarian state that's killed millions is no obstacle to hosting the Olympics, but going to a costume party wearing the uniform of a defunct totalitarian state that's no longer around to kill millions is completely unacceptable.
I am so SMRT!
| Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
 You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. |
Mark's gone
Some news:
1.
2.
3.
Man unaware of nail in his brain.
January 15, 2005
It might work...
Scheming to Get Rich Quick? I know I am...
Old Plan: Dietician for Michael Moore.
New Plan: Shotgun marriage with this woman.
January 12, 2005
January 11, 2005
My youth is slipping away...
Today I am a young, frisky, virile 22.
Tomorrow I will be a haggard and worn-out 23.
Weep for me, children! For I am not long for this world.
Maybe I should buy one of these rings...
(Apparently, according to that site, he will unite the world in a peaceful one-world government...
Bah, not if I have anything to do with it...)
(Actually, the whole site of that guy is a bit of a hoot, particularly the "corporate republic" bit, which seems to have been ripped off a computer game.)
Being Michael Moore and Wacky Conspiracies
Sometimes we all wish we could be Michael Moore, well, maybe without the obesity and moonbattery.
It must be pretty cool to earn millions from showing the rest of the world your conspiracy theories in glorious full-feature film format. You know, just like Oliver Stone does as well.
Anyway, I thought I try my own hand at a little conspiracy theorising...
What's going on with Mark Latham? None of his colleagues seem to have a clue.
He's apparently sick with pancreatitis, but then some berk seems him at at a resort. And who should be filling in as defactor Opposition spokesman? Why none other than Kevin Rudd..
Is Rudd positioning himself for a challenge after Latham recovers? Or, weirder yet, (cue spooky, conspiracy-esque muzak) has Rudd pulled a Yushenko-style dioxin/nerve gas attack on his leader?
Hey, I'm just asking a question...
But seriously, let's hope he recovers as soon as possible. If only to get him out of that hat...
New Blogs - Varying Quality
Here's Tim Bennett - Casino's Favourite Son.
(I think he has leanings towards the darkside, but I'm sure that's purely to pick up fashionable inner-city Sydney girls, same as this guy.)
Iowahawk - I go here semi-regularly, but I haven't put it on the blogroll until now.
Powerline - Time's Blog of the Year
Silent Running - another Antipodean one. Garish colour scheme though....
Sortelli - commentator on Tim Blair's blog, now has his own blog (only two posts so far)
Blithering Bunny - Better than it sounds.
They're all on the blogroll now, right under the invisible link to Sydney indymedia.
(Hah! You were right about me all along...)
Wondering about the picture? It was the first thing I found in the Google image search for "Blog".
Don't ask, Don't tell...
Does everyone have one of these now?
By now, I seem to be the only one without one.
But that's only because I think the things are the tools of the devil.
EVIL!!!
Nah, I'm just too cheap.
Francesca again
Since talking about this girl is the only way to get hits anymore...here we go.
It just goes to show how wonderful Internet infamy is!
Do you agree Claire?
How about you Peter Chung?
By the way, when did women kissing fish become sexy? Huh Francesca Willis?
Hmmm...
What's with that?
Well, at least her photos are a little more professional this time...
(Hat Tip Yobbo)
January 10, 2005
He Be Alright...
One of my friends (the guy in the picture to the right) was in SE Asia, and I hadn't heard from him until the tsunami.
Now I have.
Even though after Luke's and others recommendations, I decided NOT to go to Southern Thailand and gladly went to Southern Laos instead so I'm safe and sound - slightly hungover though.
I havent seen much news (apart from Johhny Howard sending over supplies) but apparently swedes and other tourists are missing due to the tsunamis - I'm travelling with two swedish lads currently.
I fly out from Bangkok on the 29th - I imagine it will be an incredibly depressing scene.
Take care and have a good New Year.
P.S. Fowrard this to/tell anyone who would care about me being in good
health - not many I know;)
Here's to friends surviving...
January 09, 2005
I HATE FUCKING SPAM
I hate spammers with a white-hot passion that I wouldn't want to put on any human being.
Fortunately, I am quite convinced that spammers aren't human - they must be some sort of alien replicons sent as an advance scout force by a hostile extraterrestial civilisation wanting to soften us up before the big push.
Never fear, I'm certain Satan hates spammers as much as everyone else and has a special place in Hell reserved for them.
Judas, Brutus and Cassius may have to spend eternity being chewed in the mouth of Satan, but I have a feeling what is in store for spammers is something far worse...
I'm back
I have returned, just as bloggers everywhere seem to be throwing in the towel.
More to follow.