Alea iacta est

Aaargh! The Cultures.....they are clashing!

Over the last hundred years Australia has steadily grown a culture.

...despite our best efforts.

(rimshot)

*Groan*

Anyhow, said culture clashes with other cultures, apparently (kind of like a lime green top and grey slacks)....causing such delightful events as this.

SHE was raised as a law-abiding Muslim girl in Sydney's multicultural western suburbs. Now a "clash of cultures" has been blamed for an otherwise model citizen making a series of bomb threats to a Sydney shopping centre.

Ferda Uysalsoy, 24, caused the evacuation of a Myer department store and sparked a huge police operation on two occasions.

Yesterday Uysalsoy offered a Sydney court her excuse for the costly prank calls: a forbidden romance with a non-Muslim man – and the strict observance of her religion by her devout Muslim mother – led her to suffer a "psycho social stress" disorder.

Psycho-what?

As the teenage daughter of Turkish immigrants, Uysalsoy was a popular high school prefect, house captain and athletics star.

However, her unblemished life took a seemingly inexplicable turn last October, when she made the telephone bomb threats to the Carlingford Court shopping centre, where she worked as a waitress.

There's a bomb!

Um....Ferda, is that you?

*click*

At first she apparently told the cops it was just a ruse to get out of work...and frankly, with a job like that, I don't blame her.

But then:

Yesterday, during a sentencing hearing at Ryde Local Court, a deeper cause of her crimes was put forward.

Forced to hide her four-year relationship with her non-Muslim boyfriend from her terminally-ill mother, Uysalsoy cracked under pressure.

In a tendered report, psychiatrist Russell White said Uysalsoy's behaviour stemmed from her mother being diagnosed with cancer "coupled with having to conceal from her (mother) her love for her non-Muslim boyfriend".

Dr White said Uysalsoy's mother was "tolerant" of her wearing Western clothes and "mixing and socialising with young Christians" as long as she did not form a relationship with a non-Muslim.

"(Her mother) made it very clear that she would only ever sanction this if (Uysalsoy) had no sexual relationships in her young adult years and married a Muslim man," Dr White wrote.

"Ferda remains living in her mother's house, but has had a long-term, committed relationship to a young local non-Muslim man . . . about which her parents, particularly her mother, could not be told."

Solicitor Jonathon Anton described the cause of his client's crimes as an "unfortunate clash of cultures".

"This young girl has been going out with her boyfriend, Chris, for years, but marriage is probably impossible.

And right on cue, religion comes in to royally fuck up someone else's life again. Leaving aside the pure sexist element (since the rule does not apply to Muslim males), the restriction that Muslim women can only marry Muslims has got to be one of the daftest pieces of religious claptrap ever to climb out of the slimy bog of theism.

Especially since, as opposed to being a thing of great philosophical and mystical significance, it is quite obvious a cynical ploy introduced into the religion to stop its women deserting en-masse. (Which, in all likelihood, given total religious freedom and no family pressure, would probably happen).

In this case, I really wish the poor girl's parents would come to their senses, and place their own daughter's wellbeing and happiness over placating some ancient desert god or by bludgeoning the boyfriend into joining a religion he likely has no time for.... but then....

...I've never been hot for religion. Except in small doses, and only taken responsibly.

Let's not pretend this is the only bit of gimpishness, however. In the realms of "my great magic pixie that lives in the sky is better than your magic pixie", there's some fairly blatant examples of silliness.

Here's a few:

• The Catholic tradition of Transubstantiation. Official dogma is that, just as Jesus said, the bread and wine are his "body and blood". Not in a metaphysical sort of way, mind you, but in an actual, literal way. So yeah, even though it looks, tastes and feels the way, that's ragged pieces of divine flesh and a tankard of holy blood every Catholic quaffs down on Sunday. There's seems to be an awful lot of it, too...
• Mormon Beliefs are just plain wacky. Jesus is the Archangel Gabriel? Jesus is Lucifer's Brother? More gods than there are "particles on a million earths"? God lives with lots of sexy goddesses on a planet near the great star Kolob? If any of those beliefs turn you on, the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints is for you.
• Circumcision. Why, Why, Why would God create humans with specifically shaped genitals, only to then turn around and demand they cut bits of it off. Wouldn't it be a lot simpler to create the penis WITHOUT the foreskin? Or is God just a sadistic fuck? Forget "Original Sin", the best innovation St Paul ever had was to dump this crappy tradition and...
• Totally Arbitary Dietary Laws. Why are people comfortable with a God who decides that, as well as being creator of the universe, also wants to act as a dietician? Why would he allegedly create all the creatures on Earth for mankind's use and then turn around and say, "Oh, that one's unclean. Don't touch it." If you can't eat a pig, what was the point of God creating it? Wait....don't answer that one...
• I'm ok, you're damned for eternity. The idea that everyone except pious members of your religion is damned for eternity. I mean, seriously, no religion has a majority in the world's population, and, out of every religion, roughly half of the adherents aren't up to scratch when taking the requirements into account. So, as an absolute max, of the current world's population, around 1/6 are going to Paradise, the rest of us are going straight to Hell. I wouldn't worry about it, all the interesting people are down there. Plus, if Dante's right, Mohammed himself is wandering around showing his guts to passers-by. Should be good for a laugh.
• Collosal Wastes of time like the Omnipotence paradox. This guy really could have been doing something more worthwhile than worrying about this shit.
• Scientology. Everything about it...I mean, What. The. Fuck. It's not really a religion, sort of more of a bad sci-fi novel acted out by lunatics. Just read this and keep mouthing "The Hell?"
• Anglicanism. It too is not really a religion anymore, more a shambling, lumbering geriatric mass that can't decide whether it's Catholic, Protestant or some cobbled-together collection of leftist political beliefs. If the Catholic Church ever bites the bullet on married priests, then this church loses it's whole purpose of existence.
Posted by Quentin George at March 2, 2006 07:14 PM