The cheeeldrin of ze niiight are voootin!
MINNEAPOLIS voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.
"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.
Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.
"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey said. "I just hate God the Father."
Don't we all...
However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.
Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.
Sounds like a nice, comfy centrist.
Posted by Quentin George at January 13, 2006 05:25 PMI'd vote for him.
Posted by: Jan at January 13, 2006 08:45 PMAs they would say in Minnesota, dontchyakno?
Minnesota has a high amount of Scandinavian ancestry, and are, perhaps subsequently, relatively liberal.
Freezing state regardless.
Posted by: Engels at January 14, 2006 04:26 PM